the last postcard of 2009

2009 in review


2009 is a very interesting year for me. a lot of things happen this year. some big some small. theres major and minor changes in every angle of my life.





some of the highlights:

1. new school new friends
i have moved to Taylor's College this year. i made new friends (you know who you are). its not easy to change course and adapt myself to a very different environment from public uni to private. although my course is masscom but trust me its not easy but im having a lot of fun. i want to be a magazine editor after graduate. i want to be like anna wintour.




2. first relationship first break up

long story. it just went wrong to worse. go to hell!


3. bali

for the first time, i was in heaven. i just want to go back there and live there for the rest of my life

4. concert concert concert
although beyonce and rihanna's concert is canceled, i still went to few concerts. MTVworldstage was da best ever! the lineups were superb. then i went to the all-american rejects' concert. tyson ritter is so hot hot hot. i went to akon's beach concert for free. oh i also went to mocha's showcase in s.alm. yg lain tak ingat

5. cuti-cuti malaysia
in 2009 i went to dungun, terengganu, cameron highlands, port dickson and penang


goodbye 2009.....

the gift

sometimes i hate it. sometimes i love it. it is more like a love hate relationship. but now i love it alot. its MY MOUTH btw. mulut ku yang hot ini hahahaha. since kecik my mouth is very popular. both in good and bad ways. cam paris hilton. i am so confused because people said i talk alot. like huh??? im like the most pemalu guy ever existed. i mean for real. i dont talk much. maybe sometimes. but thats it. im more like a listener than a talker. since my school days (im still young btw), everytime my parents kena ambik my report card, my teacher always akan complain bout my mouth. they said i talked alot in class. i mean everybody talks right. maybe i talk abit loud r kot. dah ramai orang pekak kot. so kena r cakap kuat2 haha. my psycho ex said that my mouth sgt melampau. is it because he cant accept the truth?
i dont usually lie because im such fucking loser when lieing. people knows when im telling lies. ok honestly, my mouth is abit too straight forward to some. i am a very honest guy. i will tell you everything that is in my mind. like literally everything. if your shoe is ugly i will tell straight to your face. kasut kau tu burok senang. no need to berlakon. why i want to be hypocrite? nak jaga hati? nak tunjuk aku baik? if you cant accept it just go to hell. if you expect people to puji you all the time just forget about it. this is the real world. sometimes the truth hurts. and a lie hurts more. oh i think lah kan i swear and curse alot. obvious kot. my favourites are babi, pukimak and fuck. i think its normal r kan. i cant say that im a daredevil kind of guy but sikit r. i do want i want to do. i dont give shit what people say bout me. i mean who are you to judge me? mind your own business. jaga kain sendiri jgn nak dok intai2 plak. malu r i haha. i kan pemalu! my mouth is a gift. im very thankful. and i will use it sukati mak bapak aku. whatever.

a psycho

dear pukimak,
you are a total psycho. literally there is something wrong with you mental-wise. your life is full with bullshit and taik binatang2. kau bodoh cam pukimak sial. OMG i cant believe this. you are a lieing bastard. dari mula kau dah tipu aku. kau tipu aku bulat2 right to my face. i feel so stupid now. kau babi anjing. kau maybe anak datuk, tp trust me you wont go anywhere pun. ntah betul ke tak bapak dia datuk. ntah ape lagi dia tipu kot. everything you told me is a bunch of lies. kau dasar penipu lahanat. kau mmg kurang kasih sayang dari mak bapak kau. mak bapak kau pun benci kau kot. mesti dorg menyesal giler ada anak cam kau. anak yg mentally unsatble. tp dah tuhan bagi kan nak buat camne. patut dorg buang je kau kat mental institution. or maybe dorg malu kot ada anak mentally unstable. bapak kau pun malas nak layan kau so just bagi je kau duit supaya jauh dari hidup dia. kau ni pathetic! kesian aku tgk kau. anak buangan. kau cam sampah yg aku kutip tepi jalan. n aku taktau nape aku kutip kau. YA ALLAH KENAPA AKU NI BODOH SGT?


YA ALLAH AMPUNILAH DOSA-DOSA KU INI. TUHAN YANG MAHA KUASA LAGI MAHA MENGASIHANI. TERANGILAH HATI KU INI. AMIN

all i want for christmas is......

1. mac laptop
2. wilson tennis racket
3. iphone
4. lacoste bag
5. 2010 planner
6. leather belt
7. onitsuka shoe
8. adidas tennis shoe
9. all twilight books
10. ps3
i thought nak 10 je tp terpaksa r add 1 more sbb pukimak setan
11. external hardisk

and the award goes to.....

the award for the most perfect boyfriend EVER goes to.......(sgt berdebar2 ni haha)

"my ex"

here the reasons why:

1. he is so perfect dia tak pernah sekali pun buat salah. i mean literally tidak pernah ever. he is like nabi or something. me and only me sahaja buat salah. if people cakap dia salah terus emo. even after dia tumbuk my mouth pun dia ckp its all my fault. wow. and do you even say sorry to me? dia cakap i main2 buat2 sakit. OMG right

2. he is the most kaya and pemurah human being ever. dengan boyfriend sendiri pun duit minyak berkira. get the idea? haha. ada this 1 day i asked him to belanja me tengok this play kat istana budaya. you know what he said? "if you nak i belanaja better i tengok seorang je. you kan ada duit mara so guna lah. i nak beli this rm700 shoe at ed hardy for my friend so i takde duit". speechless kan rasa sangat terhina

3. he is a kid and already he knows everything. dia always mencari kesalahan orang lain. salah orang lain nampak but salah sendiri faham faham saja lah. ada 1 day ni dia tak dapat carik salah i dia boleh compare my love dengan gelas mcd. wow unbelieveble kan. dia macam emo giler just because dia nak my gelas mcd and i said no way. he said i kedekut. i mean who gives shit about gelas mcd right. for god sake. susah betul couple dengan budak budak ni. gelas mcd pun boleh jadi issue besar. like kau 10tahun lagi ke??? exam dah pass ke???

4. his friends are like the most perfect set of friends ever. everything yang kawan dia buat semua betul. common lah sape kutuk2 orang dekat facebook? like hello korg still sekolah lg ke? semua orang tau your friends stay with you because they will get something from you. its so obvious kot. sape taknak kasut rm700 for free? sape taknak free bag LV? sape taknak free ipod? dont try to deny it lah. oh he even called his bestfriend pelacur. hypocrite!

6. he is so perfect he even said that it is my friends' lost to not befriend with him. wow. who do you think you are? trust me nobody nak pun kawan dengan dia. they rather kawan dengan binatang dari kawan dengan him. you are way lower than najis binatang

7. 1 more thing, he always akan ungkit cerita cerita lama supaya nak remind me all my mistakes that i have done and nak tunjuk dia tak pernah sekali pun buat salah past and present. senang cerita, he is perfect. period.

i know Allah swt maha besar dan maha pemurah lagi maha mengasihani. i tak mintak ape2 buruk akan berlaku pada dia. i berdoa dia akan sedar satu hari nanti dan akan berjaya in the future. you wont find someone better than me trust me (cewahh nak prasan kejap hehe). but remember this one simple word, karma.

everyone's hypocrite, who are you to jugde me?

*this is a personal weblog and everything written above tidak kena mengena dengan sesiapa pun hidup atau mati.

Broken Strings by James Morrison & Nelly Furtado

Let me hold you
For the last time
It's the last chance to feel again
But you broke me
Now i can't feel anything

When i love you
It's so untrue
I can't even convince myself
When i'm speaking
It's the voice of someone else

Oh it tears me up
I tried to hold but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it's not enough
To make it all okay

You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
I can't like it anymore
And i love you a little less than before

Oh what are we doing
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us

Running back through the fire
When there's nothing left to say
It's like chasing the very last train
When it's too late

Oh it tears me up
I tried to hold but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it's not enough
To make it all okay

You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
I can't like it anymore
And i love you a little less than before

But we're running through the fire
When there's nothing left to say
It's like chasing the very last train
When we both know it's too late

You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
I can't like it anymore
And i love you a little less than before

Oh and i love you a little less than before
Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last change to feel again

p/s: thanks rozy for the song. i love you

its a phenomenon

love

my fucking rihanna moment

this 2 pictures were taken on oct,18 2009, a day after i was brutally punched by my ex. i think everybody knows who he is by now. dont have a clue? his name is lalala. i was totally in extreme pain for the next 4 days because it wont stop bleeding. and plus i cant eat at that period. alhamdulillah the doctor said there was no serious internal bleeding. i still can see the scar inside my mouth and in my heart. the pictures were not very clear because i only used my handphone camera. but still i have solid proof right haha. i think many will ask why only now i come out with the pictures? i dunno but now is the right time for me. to my ex, thank you. you are such a psycho maniac and mentally unstable. kesian kan ada lagi orang/binatang camni kat dunia. like hello, who in this fucking world would fucking punch someone and he said he loves me. omg unbelieveble. the best part is he thought i was main-main and berlakon sakit. what the fuck? crazy right.

p/s: i hate the pictures because my nose looks super big haha. and to azima, im sorry, you are such a great friend to me.

*this is a personal weblog. the opinions expressed here represent my own dan tidak kena mengena dengan sesiapa pun yg hidup atau mati.

Make You Feel My Love

"When the rain
Is blowing in your face
And the whole world
Is on your case
I could offer you
A warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows
And the stars appear
And there is no one there
To dry your tears
I could hold you
For a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you
Haven't made
Your mind up yet
But I would never
Do you wrong
I've known it
From the moment
That we met
No doubt in my mind
Where you belong

I'd go hungry
I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling
Down the avenue
No, there's nothing
That I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging
On the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
Though winds of change
Are throwing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing
Like me yet
I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends
Of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love"

p/s: this song is especially for you, my future love

helpless

i feel so helpless right now. what have i done wrong? yes i did a lot and lots of mistakes in the past. so did everybody else on this planet. but past is past. i try to learn from it and be a better person. sometimes i feel that what i did is not enough. ive tried my best with all my heart and my soul. and i will not stop. im going to try harder. i am just a tiny human being. im not perfect, not even close. and im still young. there is more things out there to learn and discover. and more challenges and hardships coming my way. this is life. life is not easy. everyday is like a battle field. some maybe easy to fight and some are not. some may require a lot of patience. when i fall i will rise again. i will not give up. and definately i will not giving up on you, my love. i love you.

life.

some say life is boring. some say life is useless and has no meaning what so ever. some wish they have better life if this laa tu laa ni laa. personally, i think life is interesting. we dont know where life will bring us. we dont know the future and seriously i dont think i want to know my own future. this will make my life more interesting and more fun. and frankly speaking, i hate when people says that their life sucks. what is your fucking problem? are you stupid or what? you are not the only one that have problem or something. face it and do something about it. nobody is going to solve it for you. not even GOD will help you. i have this principal, for every problem, there must and will be a way to solve it. same with a question will have its answer. the problem might take a minute to solve or maybe days or even years. we need to be patience as nothing comes easy in life. everyone has different path of life. everybody has ups and downs in life. some are born lucky and some are not. for those who are not so lucky, they have to work hard for life. i have to work for my future. im not from a super rich family. but i consider myself as lucky in the sense that i have my family who loves me and i get most things that i wanted. but sometimes i wish i have more money,who doesnt right? haha. there is nothing wrong with dreaming and hoping for something to happen. dreams may come true, if you work for it and with a little bit of prayers ofcourse. people should be thankful for everything GOD gives us. GOD is fair. and life is fair. there is nothing of unfairness in our life. it is like karma. if you do good stuff then something good will come in return. so if you dont want something bad happens to you, start lah do something nice trust me. we always take things for granted especially when it is right infront of our eyes. sometimes we do things and forget about others. we need to appreciate things around us more before there are gone forever someday. i always ask myself whether is it worth it to be emo over small things. am i being overly sensitive at the right things and at the right moment? most of my answers are no. it is a waste of time and energy. life is a learning process. we will do alot of mistakes along the way and hopefully will learn from it. i dont want to have any regrets in my life. life is too short for it. i want to enjoy my life to the max and i hope i can share my life with you for the rest of my life. i love you.